Don't. Wait.

When my maternal grand-mother passed away, I was about 16, she was only 55. I remember being in Rhode Island years later, talking to my grand-father, her widower, about things I wanted to do in my life, trips I wanted to take, plans I was beginning to make. His advice was an emphatic, "DON'T WAIT." Life is short, this we know, and everything can change at any moment.

(I ran across this link when I googled the words). This is a sound bite that has stuck in my head, as so many do, surely something I ran across along the way that my conscious or sub-conscious mind found interesting and thus tucked away for later use. Hell, there is no better time than now to use it!

It is all so true though, and I know very well that I always get nostalgic around my birthday, reminiscing about the events of the past year, good, bad, indifferent and the lessons learned from all of it. This year, as the one before it, has been one hell of a year, filled with some of the best and worst experiences OF MY LIFE. I have finally come to really embody and experience life as a journey rather than a destination, and this is the most exciting realization of the past 12 months, and in fact, though everything before this has been leading up to it, the last four months have been the most incredible, transformative, eye-opening.

Just over a year ago, I found myself in the hospital with my first major health scare. I was terrified and so many words, conditions, diagnoses and treatments were thrown around and thrown at me. I didn't know what was happening to me, and I didn't know how it would affect the rest of my life. It taxed me physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. It really broke my spirit and made me wonder if I would ever be happy and healthy again, it was a horrible time in my life, but through it all, I found my personal path to happiness. I made a decision, a mostly conscious one, but yet it hit me like an epiphany, with such speed, force and lack of warning, TO.BE.HAPPY.

Simple, right? So we'd like to think, but making ourselves happy doesn't seem to be easy (if it was maybe more of us would try/do it!), not when we are pretty much brought up, taught, socialized how to be miserable and ignore our instincts and desires, replacing them with versions of the "status quo". Oh, and that misery loves company thing, yeah, that's true.

Another one of my sound bites is the title of a book I just added to my Amazon wish list, called Not Tonight Honey, Wait 'Til I'm A Size Six by Susan Reinhardt. It is a reminder to me of all the silly, trivial things that have kept me from I have allowed to keep me from being happy, those things I wanted to wait for before I allowed myself to have fun, be free and be me. I wanted to be thinner, tanner, in better shape, have better clothes, jewelry (yeah, really), more money saved, more money period, real estate, a better shop, a better job, a husband, a boyfriend, no boyfriend. My list could go on and on. Sheryl Crow once said, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got." That's exactly it. Everyday actions, common miracles (oxymoron much?) and simple pleasures paint my world with the most vivid colors flooding it with ecstasy. There really is no better time than now to be happy.

My birthday is one week from today, and I am exited and looking forward to anything and everything the day, and the next year will bring. Whatever that may be. I've decided, allowed myself and chosen TO.BE.HAPPY.


Me said…
That was the most beautiful, powerful, and inspiring post. Amazing has been a honor to watch this transformation...I wish you the best of luck in the go girl!!

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