"If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

As the dust around me settles, and I fall into this new life of mine, I cannot help but look back and reflect on the upheaval of the past month. It is difficult to believe that only about a month ago, my life began to change so significantly and so quickly, and yet here I am, in such a vastly different, but wonderful place and feeling comfortable again in my skin and in my surroundings. I unpacked a few more bags and boxes last night, and found this card, a gift in one of our goody bags from one of the SOAR SPA retreats I have attended over the years.

Since receiving it, I have always kept it on my dresser or mirror, it has been with me at the last 4-5 places I have lived. I have always found the words so true in my life, which I have changed and re-designed many times over the course of the years. With each transition, I feel the words grow all the more true. All these changes, whether conscious, sub-conscious or an incredible combination of the two, have been leading me to the point I am at now, in this moment, and to the place I need to be in the future.

I suppose it is part of growing up and having the courage to do what is best for oneself, although there are many, many people who are afraid to be their authentic selves. It excites me to think about being this singular person with many, many facets (love the metaphor!). I have referred to it as a merging of different parts of me, I once thought that Nicole the dancer was completely separate from Nicole the jeweler, Nicole the artist, Nicole the social butterfly… But in fact, all those Nicoles, are in fact what make up the person I am. The more I realize that, the better I feel! I can be myself and do all the things I enjoy, because that is who I am. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, as I always say, "I feel like I won the life lottery!", but the irony of it all, is that it isn’t through luck, but through conscious, deliberate efforts and acts that I am in this incredible place.


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