Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year and New Beginnings

This New Year, I did not make any resolutions. I doubt that I have kept many, if any, that I have made over the years anyhow. I did however go into 2011 knowing that this year would be different, very different. So many things have changed in my life, and I really and truly know that I am closer to being authentically me again than I have been in a long time. Perhaps part of this is that I am emerging from a long period of Saturn’s return, part is that I have finally made changes in my life that keep me true to my personal journey. It is not difficult to find the truth, when we listen to our inner selves. For too long I didn’t listen to myself, and all the while I was restless, anxious, and knew fully that I was not doing what was right for me.

I lost myself in 2010 for sure, without realizing what was happening, I strayed far from who I was, doing things I thought were right for me. I am not sure why this happens to me, I suppose part of it is the desire to try new things and have new experiences, and that I surely did. With 2011 here, I thought to myself how this year is really going to be a year of getting back to Nicole. I set those wheels in motion somewhere around mid-year in 2010, and it took me awhile to disentangle myself from some of the things I had become consumed by. Some choices I made late in 2010 caused incredible upheaval, in my life and the lives of many people around me, making for some decisions and changes that were beyond my control, but for the best. I went into the New Year free, fresh and open, and with a positive outlook for the year ahead. Looking back again, everything I did last year was so not me. Being the sensitive being I am, I was easily taken advantage of by people and situations, and was mostly unable or unwilling to see the truth. My good friend and roommate put it best, I think, when she said that everything that is going on now is the Universe’s way of flushing things out, and paving the way for the things that need to be, and allowing them to be.

Now, I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful group of people around me, who love me unconditionally, and again I am learning to accept love, as well as giving it. I feel like I belong and like I have a family, something I haven’t felt since I can remember. I live in a beautiful place, surrounded by natural beauty and much positivity. I believe in myself again, and my confidence and drive have paid off, as I embark again on another “renaissance of Nicole.” I remember a friend once telling me that I would be the type of person to recreate my life many times over, like a new work of art, and that I was blessed with the strength and courage to do just that.

I’m in exactly the place I need to be for right now, and I am beyond excited about the next chapter of my life. 2011 looks much more like Nicole.
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1 comments:

TerryC said...

Thank the Goddess!

a diamond in the rough

a diamond in the rough
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